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Fine, Lets Only Do What You Want to Do

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iParadise is the first non-Japanese Dating sim that I am aware of, and that is about the only praise that the game earns.  The game is set at a tropical resort with a romantic partner that you are forced to entertain until the game crashes.  Along the way you are forced to monitor not only the player avatar, but also the obnoxious money pit that they decided to bring along.

The game manages to fail on every level imaginable.  It looks terrible, all mini-games (or activities as the game calls them) are about five times too long, and the “date” that is dragged along is so annoying that naming it after my wife managed to make me angry at my real world wife.  It is also the first game that I have ever played on an i-based device that instead of crashing back to the desktop level simply went blank and refused to respond.

iParadise just fails on a fundamental level; it is supposed to be a dating sim in an amazing location but instead ends up being more about the player learning to exploit faults in the game to simply continue playing.  While it may only cost .99 cents on the app store I would have deleted it in the first five minutes if it was free, writing a review just became more and more painful after that.  If you are looking for something to blow money on in the app store, find anything else.

 

Not As Good As: Still having 1 dollar

Also Try: Not naming the other character after a loved one

Wait For It: Any better dating game

 

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