Top-Ten Videogames That Will Never Exist

With the videogame industry showing explosive growth in recent years, it’s no surprise that designers and developers are looking everywhere and anywhere for new ideas. Sometimes these new concepts work out and other times they don’t, but they always make us scratch our heads. When The Sims was first released, some wondered how a simulation based around mundane daily life could be considered fun. Some still wonder, but the ensuing series has become one of the best sellers of all time.

Since then, we’ve had games about being a mosquito, and the 2004 US presidential campaign. We’ve seen dancing games and firefighting games. The object of one game floating around the Internet is to push a guy down a flight of stairs! Just when you think every possible idea has been used, something new falls from the sky (or, well, down the stairs). It is with this in mind that MyGamer presents the Top Ten Videogames That Will (or at least perhaps should) Never Exist.

10: Kyoto-Me-No-Signo! (Japanese Import Only)

Take on the role of hard-hitting UN chief Kofi Annan in this exciting third-person, action-oriented, real-time, role-playing, strategic shooter and single-handedly bring the rest of the world into a state of ecological order – even if that means killing everyone in your way. The Kyoto treaty remains unsigned by the planet’s last remaining evil super power, and its nefarious leader flatly refuses to acknowledge the amount of polluting toxins his country is directly responsible for. The statistics speak for themselves, but the world’s greatest dictator is blinded by a hunger for economic prosperity through ecological ignorance – and an insatiable blood lust. Only Kofi can stop Mother Earth’s rot. Armed with his antimatter beard of justice, upgradeable gravitron (recycled leather) briefcase, and pen of goodly truth, complete with interchangeable style nibs and ink cartridges, nothing can stop Kofi and the UN – except perhaps an absolute disregard for their international authority on all matters, especially the sanctioning of illegal warfare.

9: Iron Chef

With over 50,000 different special ingredients, every game is a new experience! Select an Iron Chef you want to challenge and pick your ingredients, from the mundane oregano and breadcrumbs to the exotic truffle and mammoth steak. Decide how best to cook your creation and then complete Wario Ware-like mini-games to see if you can pull it off. As an added play-by-play aperitif, choose between the Iron Chef America cast and the original horrible Iron Chef Japanese translators for color commentary.

8: Sequel to a Game II

That’s right, the best game of last year is now the best game of this year! The award winning gameplay of the original is back and better than ever. All of the things you loved about the first game are included, plus so much more; more action, more surprises, more vehicles, more areas to explore. The famous main character’s story isn’t finished with the end of the previous title, now he/she has to face more challenges that are vaguely familiar. Just like before, only better!

7: The Scott Peterson Trial (Includes eventual Supreme Court Appeal expansion)

Videogames are the only media that haven’t jumped on this spectacle showboat yet, and it’s high time to fix that. It’s four games in one: play as the prosecution, defense, judge, or even the jury! Unlock special stages where you can play as a paparazzi journalist within the hordes waiting by the courthouse steps for a juicy sound bite, or as a supposed legal expert vying for screen time on Larry King. You can even try to secure Amber Frey’s fame through book deals and a high-profile appearance on Oprah in the

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