Hey guys!

If it was, it wouldn't be punishment for whatever you did that caused me to threatne you in the first place.
 
Ok. See first you pluck the E string right myuh. And then you pluck the A string right about myuh. The you put your fingers myuh over the D, G, and B strings. Repeat twice, then play it backwards, and that's "Stairway to Heaven."
 
I'm sorry. In the words of Sadaam Hussein in the South Park Movie: I can change, I can change.

Please forgive. Tell me what I must do. Tell me how to supplicate before you, oh most wonderous object...I mean goddess DAMN.
 
You can make it up to me by determining a proper punishment for the males who have violated the sancity of the ladies only forum. My ideas are vastly unpractical, but very creative.
 
You will notice that I am not on that heinous list of offenders. You could tie them to chairs and make them watch feminine hygiene product commercials A Clockwork Orange-style. That would be enough to drive me to the brink of insanity.
 
Yes. but how do I hunt them down in order to subject them to such horror? Well Stan is easy to find, but the rest of them aren't near me.

And yes I did notice you weren't an offender. That's why you have this chance at redemption.
 
Tell them that you and all of your smoking hot female friends are going to have a lingerie video game party, and you all need some big, strong men to help you figure out the controls. Also, tell them there will be chips. Guys like chips. If all of them are guys, and I believe their posts have placed them squarely in that category, then Dave Barry's lust induced brain freeze phenomenon should take over. You should know what to do once they are babbling incoherently. You are good at tying people down.

"Yeah, there aren't even any chips. CHIPS, CHIPS, CHIPS, CHIPS."
 
Brilliant! I'll make up invitations tonight! Your transgressions have been forgiven, but not forgotten. Tread carefully.
 
Yes ma'am. Thank you ma'am. I promise not to do it again. At least not until tomorrow, when I have forgotten about my previous mistakes.
 
wijg i'm sorry i couldn't save you from that woman's mind spell. i was in a meating. yes a meating. we ate meat. CAUSE WE'RE MANLY MEN! just kidding. i'm the only guy in my office. it's so rad. cause i'm like every mother's son...they all feed me and stuff. it's great. ok enough of that. but seriously, i totally got them all doing things for me all the time cause i'm so smart.

so what's this party you're talking about? and there's gonna be girls there? you mentioned chips. i will definitely go if there are DORRITOS !!!

dorritos give you the worst breath, and yet, i always found myself eating them at parties in high school. might as well, cause it's not as though the dorrito-breath was what was keeping the girls away.
 
I love doritos too. Sadly, my boyfriend doesn't. The end result is when I want to eat them I have to down a dozen Altoids and brush my teeth several times before I'm allowed anywhere near him.

The primary advantage to him living in a different state is that it isn't an issue most of the time.
 
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